New Year, New Me…. Ditch Resolutions for Stacking Habits!

Every year, millions of people—including myself—set New Year's resolutions with the hope of transforming our lives. The idea of a fresh start feels exciting and full of potential: lose weight, save money, eat healthier. But by mid-January, many of us have already abandoned or forgotten our goals. We end up stuck in a cycle of trying (or, more often, not trying). And where does that leave us? For me, it's usually a mix of disappointment, shame, and frustration. I can’t help but ask: why does this happen, and what can I do differently this time?

After reflecting, I've realized that my struggles often stem from unrealistic expectations, an all-or-nothing mentality, and a lack of consistent stackable habits that can actually help me reach my goals.

Unrealistic Expectations

Resolutions are often vague, like "I want to get fit" or "I want to be more organized." While these are worthy aspirations, they tend to be too broad, and it's hard to even know what they truly mean. If I don't have a clear understanding of what success looks like, how can I expect to reach it? Without a specific plan, actionable steps, and consistent habits, it's easy to lose motivation when progress feels slow or difficult to track. Even with a plan in place, sometimes my goals are just too big and unrealistic—leading to inevitable failure. For example, there's no way I'm going to shed 50 pounds in two months!

 The All-or-Nothing Mentality

Many people approach their resolutions with an "all or nothing" mindset—either they achieve their goal flawlessly, or they feel like they've failed completely. This often leads to guilt and frustration, causing them to give up on the resolution entirely.

 Lack of Habits

Long-term change is rooted in habits, not sudden, drastic shifts. Setting resolutions without establishing consistent, sustainable habits, makes it easy to lose momentum. For example, committing to an hour at the gym every day might sound appealing, but it’s often unsustainable and leads to burnout. Gradual, small habits that evolve into a routine are far more effective in the long run.

I’ve also observed that my lack of consistent habits often stems from deeper beliefs and patterns. By focusing on these underlying beliefs, I can break the cycle and stop repeating the same unfortunate patterns year after year.

What Works Instead?

Rather than making vague, high-pressure resolutions, try setting realistic, specific goals with actionable steps. Focus on small habits you can integrate into your routine over time, rather than expecting overnight success. Also, try reflecting on what you truly want to achieve, and make sure your goals align with your personal values.

Ultimately, it’s not about the New Year; it’s about creating sustainable change that sticks. Try approaching your goals with patience, flexibility, and grace. So, instead of making resolutions this year, why not make a commitment to growth?

Written By: Cala Ochs, MSW, LCSW