I Can Do Hard Things.

This particular week has felt like a month. This month has felt like a year. This year…yikes. My inner critic was on full blast as I was processing this week. I’m familiar with the voice and the anxiety that proceeds. If I’m not mindful, I can spiral. I was also reflecting on my goals for my future and what the next few days were looking like. I had a full day of seeing clients followed by a busy weekend. My inner critic was telling me all the reasons I was going to crumble.

Then, I overheard something from my toddler that quieted the loudspeaker in my head. My son was pushing his sister’s step stool towards the counter so he could reach some books he wanted. I heard him grunt, then he said, “I can do hard things.” (Can you tell his mom’s a therapist?) It made me laugh to hear such confidence pour out of him. I’m sure it’s something we have repeated to him when he’s upset about not being able to figure out a puzzle or pull on his shoes. Maybe he learned it from Ms. Rachel (likely). Regardless of where he heard this, I’m thankful it stuck with him. And I am so thankful he reminded me of this positive reframe I needed to be telling myself. The future can be scary for a lot of people, me included, but we can do hard things. We have done hard things. We are doing hard things. 

Be gentle with yourself and be gentle with that inner critic. I have come to recognize this critic part within me, and I have learned all the ways in which it thinks it is helping me. At times, it is a great motivator. At other times, I need to remind this part that it’s going to be okay. It doesn’t help if I just dismiss this voice telling me ways that I can do better, but I also don’t need to buy into everything negative being said about me. So, I extend my appreciation towards this part and move forward with confidence that I can do hard things.

I know that telling yourself these phrases will sometimes not feel like enough. When it feels like it’s not enough, don’t hesitate to ask for help. From, a helper and someone who has received help.

Written By: Morgan Smith, MA, LMFT